Moving to Canada, eh?

A Guide for Would Be Immigrants - ("Nice" Rhymes with "Ice")

Shortly, after the Fall US presidential election a number of my US friends called to discuss moving to Canada. Now that DJT has been inaugurated, we only have about four years of chaos to live through, I have drafted the following guide to being Canadian.

On Being Nice

When Americans describe Canadians, being nice is the quintessential adjective used most frequently. This dynamic is evident in banks and another queues. In Canada the person behind you at the bank likely gives you about eighteen inches (0.5M) of space. Behaving in line is so inculcated in Canadians, that if you do get pushed, the person behind you has either had a heart attack or is an American. If there’s an elbow in your ear, it’s probably a German. Nice is the quality that makes Ryan Renolds so endearing. Scrape below the surface of pleasant and you merely hit another level of nice.

Nice Rhymes with Ice

Perhaps the underlying explanation is that ‘nice” rhymes with” ice”. There’s some truth to the concept that living in a country that goes into a deep freeze for 1/4 of the year breeds a greater degree of interdependence rather than independence. Faced with the prospect of standing by the highway in sub-zero weather, it’s nice to believe that the folks in the next car may stop to give your battery a boost rather than steal your winter tires. My father-in-law used to dismiss American’s tendency to elevate minor social differences into the conflicts we now call culture wars as – “not enough snow to shovel”.

Ryan Reynolds

Canadians share a kind of social optimism generally associated with golden doodles – the expectation that the next person you meet is likely to be your new best friend. This attitude still prevails in most environments with the exception of the locker room at your local Y, where there’s a general expectation that you avert your eyes and certainly avoid all the uncertainty associated by asking “How you doing?”

Health Care

This interdependence possibly explains a broader social safety net Canadians have developed over the past century. What does this include? Universal health care, unemployment insurance, yearlong maternity benefits, a national daycare subsidy, relatively cheap college fees and heavily subsidized university education as well. To many Americans this sounds idyllic, but the other side of the equation is that we pay something we call “very high taxes” and yes, you are helping pay for your neighbour’s healthcare, childcare and education. Fortunately, we have legalized marijuana. Added to the taxes on alcohol, tobacco, and gambling, these (no implied judgement) “sin taxes” shift some of the burden of taxation to what we politely refer to as the drunks, stoners and sleaze bags. Despite the fact that they share many of these characteristics, we generally like our politicians more than the Americans do.

Waiting Lists and Bills

Now the health care system has run into some problems recently (please see the early section on standing in line). Canada has fully modern free medical care. You can spend a month in intensive care and the only thing you bill you receive is the parking bill, which can be avoided if you hitchhike to the hospital. Wait lists for elective and non-urgent care can get aggravating, especially if you think your problem is more urgent than everybody else’s. There is some question about whether individuals born in the United States could ever get used to the concept of waiting their turn but even Canadians have been known to act like Americans by taking out a second mortgage and hightailing it or hobbling to the medical clinics south of the border. Insiders know that another strategy to getting accelerated medical attention is to pour a bottle of ketchup over your head before visiting the Emergency Department.

Guns

There can be no doubt that Americans love their weapons with a strong preference for the ballistic kind. In Canada. The “Right to Bare Arms” is thought to refer to ability to wear short sleeve shirts any time you like. The difference is attributed to the fact that The Royal Canadian Mounted Police settled Canada’s west before they allowed the settlers to come in as opposed to the American “I think I’m Davey Crockett” ethos.

Hugging the Border

In spite of our differences, Canadians generally like Americans. This and the weather likely explain why 90% of the Canadian population live within 150 miles of the American Border. Certainly, climate change, zoom and the internet have given some of us the opportunity to move a little further from American cousins and Canadian sure like open spaces. Many Canadians have access to a cottage or country home or “camp” as it’s referred to in certain regions. It’s hard to fully explain the appeal, but once you have spent a few weeks in a soggy drafty cabin contending with mosquitoes the size of humming birds, going home to the apartment in the city doesn’t seem so bad.

If you’re still interested in moving to Canada, we can help you find out where to line up